"I’m never going to forget you. Don’t say that," he said seriously.
"Everyone forgets me," Darren mumbled, shaking his head. "My dad, my friends, my teachers."
"I love you too. Forever, okay?" Sebastian told him softly.
"You’ll forget about me when I’m gone," Darren told him softly, shaking his head. "That’s good, though. I want you to move on."
"You’re here now and I know so that’s all that matters," Sebastian told him as he kissed the top of his head. "Why don’t you get some sleep? Or we can take a bath. You know my tub has jets so it should soothe your aches."
"I just want to sleep," He whispered, shaking his head. ‘I love you so much.”
"There’s no use fighting about it now," he pointed out.
"I’m still really sorry," He said, shaking his head a little. "I shouldn’t have done that."
"You should have came to me," was all Sebastian said with a shrug.
Darren closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head. ”I’m so sorry.”
"I’m hurt because you wasted a month- we don’t know how many more you have left and it would have been nice to know," he explained.
"I knew, though," Darren mumbled, shaking his head. "I called you every day, and I visited when I could," Darren said simply. He wanted to get up- and walk away, but he hurt to much. So he stayed put. "Sebastian, I knew what I was doing. It wasn’t until they told me the treatments might not work that I knew I needed to do something."
"I’ll come with you to tell her if you want," Sebastian told him softly, even though he was still angry.
Darren shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. “I don’t want to tell her. She’s going to be mad- like you are.”
"And you didn’t decide to tell me until now?" He asked, hurt and betrayal in his voice.
"I didn’t tell anyone until now," Darren mumbled, shaking his head. "My mom doesn’t even know."
"How long have you known?" Sebastian asked then.
"A month," Darren told him softly, breathing in deeply.
"This makes me want to be with you more, Darren. Thinking of you alone- I don’t want to. I want to be with you for- well for the rest of your life okay?" He asked, getting quiet at the end. Sebastian was glad Darren couldn’t see him or his watery eyes.
Darren closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head at Sebastian. ”You shouldn’t. I’ve been dealing with this for awhile, Sebastian. I’ve been alone for awhile- I’m okay.”
"I’ve always liked you," Sebastian reminded him. "Even when you’re sick. Do you remember freshmen year at NYU when you had the flu? I took care of you for a week, even when you were throwing up and dealing with explosive diarrhea," Sebastian added. "I didn’t leave then."
”This is different,” He said softly, shaking his head a little bit. ”You’re going to get to one of my doctor’s appointments, and realize what is going to happen, and you’ll leave.”
"No matter how scared I get, I promise you that I’m not going anywhere," Sebastian promised his new boyfriend. "I’m not leaving you."
Darren let out a tiny sob, shaking his head a little at Sebastian. ”You don’t know that- you’ve not dealt with this before. You’re not going to like me anymore-”
"You have something positive now. Me. I’ll be there when you have needles in you and when you hurt and when your hair falls out. You won’t have to do any of this alone," Sebastian pointed out.
”You’re going to leave once you realize how bad this really is,’ Darren murmured, shaking his head. ”You’re going to get scared, and leave.”
"But we have to count on it. Be positive," Sebastian insisted. "Because positive enzymes and endorphins go through the body and help."
Darren shook his head a little, closing his eyes. ‘It’s hard to be positive when your whole body hurts all the time,” Darren told him softly, shaking his head. ”It’s hard to be positive when you can’t eat, and when all your hair is falling out, and your tired all the time, and you have to get needles shoved up in you, and you have to go through the worst treatments- it’s just- it makes it more acceptable to die. Makes me not afraid of it anymore.”